Monday, April 9, 2012

I left half my heart in Mpumba

Id love to come up with a catchy title for this but the truth is best. This week I did the hardest thing I’ve had to do since….well my choice to leave America in the first place. I said goodbye to my village, Mpumba. I am actually finished with my two years of service and will be getting replaced by another volunteer. It’s so strange how before I was thinking two years was too long, and now it’s not nearly enough. That village became my family and it was like saying goodbye to mom and dad all over again.

My replacement already came for a visit so the village is very anxious for her to come back but at the same time, I could tell it was hard for them to say goodbye. The days leading up to my farewell it didn’t seem real. I tried to take the long way home from school and soak up every inch of Mpumba I could. I tried to let people know I was leaving but it was like they didn’t believe me. Like they had the idea that I would stay forever. My teachers couldn’t wrap their head around the fact that I was leaving, I became their co-worker and friend and it was like I was being transferred to another school, one far far away. Julie was the worst. I have truly become her daughter and the whole village was worried about the both of us. How could I say goodbye to Julie, the one who almost single handedly got me to the place which made Mpumba so hard to say goodbye to.

When leaving a place, you think about your time there. The friends you’ve made, the places you’ve been. I looked back at my service and smile because I grew so much I can feel it and see it, and others can too. I cried because I was so happy, a happiness I’ve never felt before. I laugh because that’s the best way to get through tough times and one of the many lessons I learned here.

Of course, a farewell from Mpumba Village wouldn’t be complete without a series of “Zam moments”. My blog is full of them, things that would only happen to me here. They aren’t all “bad” moments just only in Zambia moments. The biggest Zam moment of my service happened 3 days before I left. Its something every volunteer dreads. I fell in my chimbusu (toilet). No I didn’t fall all the way but the floor did cave in under me and I have the cuts to prove it. I’m just glad I fell forward. There was a big crack in the cerement and it was obvious that the rest of the floor wanted to fall into. Typical Zam moment.

There were celebrations and parties leading up to my leaving. I decided that it would be my treat to throw a “Pizza Party” for the kids in my village. So I made pizza for 30 kids using my brazier. They loved it. After eating we danced, one of my favorite things. 2 years ago, I couldn’t stand those kids now their laughter will remain one of my favorite memories. Funny how the tables turn. My “Evil iwe” have been reformed and the day I left my village they all came to say goodbye and to help my load my things on to the cruiser, just as they helped me unload the cruiser 2years ago. I already miss them.

We also had a farewell party. It was suppose to be their gift to me but it ended up being my gift to them. The village and schools were invited but there was a strict guest list, the school didn’t have enough room. I invited people from all the schools in my zone and people in the village who mattered to me the most. The farewell party seemed so sudden since there was so much confusion about when I was actually leaving the village. Some people ended up not knowing that I was leaving the village the next day. The party consisted of me giving a thank you and trying not to cry, the village and schools saying speeches and me trying not to cry and eating lots of food while trying not to think of how that was my last meal in my village. Yea this country has made me very emotional.

The schools and villages said so many beautiful things. I feel like every pcv should hang in there until their farewell party. It hit me that despite all my frustrations in that village and with culture and people that I WAS loved by people and they DID appreciate the work that I did and it impacted them. People were bringing up work that I had forgotten about. They brought up things that I didn’t think were important but left a mark on them. The wife of the chief was also at the party and at one point she pulls me aside and tells me the village will miss me and that I can not be replaced and I worked well. I was so honored to have her say that and felt so relieved that my hard work did pay off. I did well with not being too emotional. My village knows how I can be, but my GLOW group decided they wanted to say something. The words they said will live with me forever. At one point in the girl’s speech everyone in the room was crying or fighting tears. Everyone knew what GLOW meant to me. Julie also spoke and from what little Bemba I could understand at that moment, I am her daughter whether I’m in Zambia or in America.

The universe introduces you to people for several reasons. To show you love, to make you realize who you are that kind of thing. I thank the Universe for Mpumba. They have showed me compassion; humor, pain, strength, gratitude and most importantly love. As much as I miss them already and as sad I am to leave them, I am so incredibly happy to have ever met these people who have taught me more about myself in 2 yrs then I ever knew in the first 23. Thank you can never be enough for what they’ve done for me. The motto for Peace Corps is “the hardest job you’ll ever love” It’s the truth. Ive been through so many emotions with this job but it’s the one that has changed me and fulfilled me the most. I’m grateful for the experience. This has been one big Zam moment Ill never forget!

Every child deserves a 5th Birthday

April 25th is World Malaria Day. We are lucky back home to not have to worry so much with mosquitoes. They are just annoying, may cause the occasional West Nile outbreak but for the most part they aren’t a real threat. But in countries all over the world, Malaria is one of the top reasons why children don’t reach their 5th birthday. Malaria (NOT HIV) is the number one killer in Africa and its cause by a pesky female mosquito.

I’m aware that most people aren’t too clear about what malaria is and does so a little refresher is in order. Malaria is an infectious disease that comes from being bitten by an infected female mosquito. The females are the only ones to carry the parasite that cause malaria and is only a threat from dusk to dawn. Once the infected mosquito bites you, it can take any where from 1 to 2 weeks to start feeling symptoms. The symptoms can be nasty. Headaches, diarrhea, nausea, lose of appetite, anemia, fever, chills and vomiting. There are medicines you can take to relieve the symptoms and to get the parasite of your system.

So why is it such a big deal? Mosquitoes are very common during wet season and if you aren’t protected by a mosquito net its easy to get. Everyone is outside starting at dusk to cook dinner and the light of the starts and moon are much brighter than a dark mud hut. Many children don’t sleep under a mosquito net, it’s reserved for the parents and they are easily infected. Once a child under 5 gets malaria it’s very hard to keep them healthy especially with the lack of clean water, poorly stocked clinics and transport. These are a few reasons why they are at such a high risk.

I had malaria while I was here and its no fun. I couldn’t keep anything down –including water- and the only way I could take my medicine was with a spoonful of peanut butter because I had no appetite. After taking the medicine for 3 days I felt much better but it was a week or 2 before I felt like I had my strength back. I was weak and tired and simple task became a chore. This reaction to malaria and I had been taking my prophylaxes (which doesn’t prevent malaria; it just suppresses the symptoms and the parasite in the body).

There is now a big push to “stomp out malaria”. The Ministry of Health issued mosquito nets to every household and Peace Corps worldwide is working on a “stomp out Malaria” campaign to raise awareness of the prevalence of the disease. I never thought that a mosquito could cause so many problems until I moved to Zambia and saw the affect. When I left my village, I gave away my two mosquito nets because I found out my neighbor brothers and sisters sleep on the floor without one. It’s not much, but it’s a start, and it starts the conversation.

How will you Stomp Out Malaria in 2012?
http://stompoutmalaria.org

Friday, March 16, 2012

likeable links

These are just few interesting links. These links that friends have sent me or links to some awesome projects my friends are doing.

www.bbc.com (Because facebook is NOT the news)

www.psychologytoday.com (Because Im a dork and love reading the articles at night

http://wuot.org (There's a podcast on the increase of HIV in TN)

* These girls are returned Peace Corps Zambia Volunteers and still making a difference

Color Me In
Another RPCV from Zambia who's doing a lot of great work for local businesses
No I am not posting anything about this KONY2012 campaign (If you dot know who Joseph Kony is you should look him up) BUT if you want to know my opinion on him and the capaign PLEASE ask me!

Lucky Newbie

My replacement came last week and I’ve been kicked out of my house until she leaves. I’m spending my time getting some work done at the office, hence the slew of blog updates.
I went through the same thing but since I was first generation the process was a bit different. I’m sure it’s strange for her to be staying 5 days in a fully furnished house where someone else has been living and working for two years. EEK! But its also strange to think that in 2 weeks that will be her house and not mine, she will have the life that I once had and shell be paving her own way in a village that I will still call home. She’ll do great I know it, but I can’t help but feel a little jealous.

Its funny now to think Ill be jealous of someone just beginning their service when my start was so difficult, but Id do it again especially knowing what I know now. I remember being bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to work. We sort of get “used” or jaded as the days, weeks, months go on and it’s hard to remember what it was like to be new. We have adapted to this life and
it’s hard to remember what it was like hitchhiking for the first time and learning new social cues and finding our way to live and cope.

I’m not ready to clean my house and say goodbye. People ask me how it feels to be done and going home and I try to remember what it was like leaving home initially. I almost think this is worse. But the time has come and in two weeks (16 days) and less than a month I will be leaving my village and then leaving Zambia. Crazy! More people are trying to marry me off then ever before because to them that’s my only way of staying. No matter how often I tell people that in a few years after grad school I want to come back, we all know that this may be the last time we’re with each other. It’s such a strange thought. These people have gone from being just the villagers to being family and from just being teachers to being friends. The good bye will be rough.

But I do feel its time to go home. I miss my family and simple first world pleasure (indoor plumbing!!!!!) I miss sushi and cartoons and being able to be on my own time. I miss the concept of lines and knowing that no matter how long the line is, Ill get to the front. I feel like its time
to move on the next adventure whatever that may be.

But I am still jealous. I’m going to miss the Zambian sunrise and the stars that twinkle at night. I’m going to miss constant dancing and the laughter of my iwe. I’m going to miss Zamlogic and the slow deliberate pace of things. Of course I’m going to miss all the people that have made these two years amazing (despite the downs) but I am excited that someone else gets
to experience what I did, in her own way of course. Just like it was hard to
leave home, it’ll be hard to leave this place I call home but I’ve enjoyed my adventure and its time to let someone start theirs. But I can still be a little jealous. :)

Development Complete?

With two weeks left in the village I naturally have been evaluating my work, my relationships and contentment with it all. As I write reports explaining my work and highlighting my relationships within the communities in which I work, I have realized I’ve done a good job. I have worked in every component of my project framework and have had some success in each aspect. I feel I have done as much as I could as far as my project is concerned.

But it’s been so much more than hitting benchmarks and calculating numbers. Looking back on my two years I can’t believe how much I have done. Not in a tooting my own horn sort of way but “professionally” and personally I’ve come a LONG way.

I remember the days of sitting and waiting 2 hours for a meeting to start and then feeling
unaccomplished at the end. I remember how hurt and let down I felt when I would give my opinion in a meeting and just be cast aside because my ideas were “too American” and I was too young. I remember how it felt not having a host family and being so sad that I didn’t have anyone to call my “maayo” (mother) and how I felt like I couldn’t really talk to anyone in the village because I was so afraid of my lack of Bemba and the cultural differences were just too big.

Now the teachers at my school have tears in their eyes when I tell them I’m leaving in two weeks, they consider my opinion valuable not because I’m the American but because I’ve worked alongside them for two years and I love the kids just as much as they do. I now bring a book to read during my 2 hour wait for meetings and am not bothered by the fact that meetings get
cancelled or rescheduled because it’s planting season and its all about give and take. My opinions aren’t too “American” anymore, they are just “Rae’s opinion” and while most people still don’t agree, at the end of the day there’s still tolerance and respect…. For the most part. I’m not too young anymore, I’ve told several times that I speak the truth and am wise for my age. I now
have a “little brother” who lives next door who I don’t know what I’m going to do without and so many “maayos” and “bambuyas” (grandmothers) that I’ve lost count. I have learned to communicate with the Bemba that I do know (even though I still wish I knew more) and that’s more than enough for people. And if I can’t get my point across with my Bemba, my hand gestures, dancing and shoulder shrugs usually do the trick.

I’ve learned a lot of lessons here, too many to count and all things that I hope will stick with me even in the fast paced, anti-social place that I call home. I’ve learned that silence really is ok and while you can only be alone with your thoughts for so long, it’s important that you get to know
yourself as well as others. I am strong; physically, emotionally and spiritually and I’m grateful that living in a mud hut for two years has reminded me of and accept this fact. It’s really ok to ask for help. I’m still struggling with that because I want to be wonder woman and do it all myself but
its good to know that when I REALLY need help and think I’m about to break, I have a support system wither it be from my PCZ peeps, my Americland family, my “little brother” with his broken English or from my teachers who I can genuinely call my friends. Patience with myself and others around me has made me calmer and less stressed. You really do get what you give and the life is nothing but a balancing act between the two. But I think the most valuable
lesson Zambia has taught me is gratitude.

So while I’ve completed my project goals, this has been a journey of progression, balance and development on a personal level as well. Development complete? Hardly, this is just the first step of my journey to re-define and shape myself. Some people go on week long retreats to try to find
themselves, others travel the world with just a backpack. I chose a mud hut for two years attempting to live like the people I would learn to love and I will always be grateful for this journey.

Know your Status... and the ABCs of Safe Sex

Every volunteer wants to do at least one big thing in their village. They want to do something they can immediately see the results of and know that an impact was made at least for a day. I’m no different. A few months ago- October- I applied for a grant to do a teacher workshop and do a big event for World AIDS Day on December 1, unfortunately the grant money didn’t come in
time and I wasn’t able to do that event (I took GLOW girls to meet former President George W. Bush instead). I hadn’t even heard that my grant had been approved so it was kind of upsetting. During my COS conference in January I was finally told that I got approved for the grant….but
had 3 months before the end of my service and the project had to be completed.

Since World AIDS Day was over I had to come up with a new program. There was already a Zonal Workshop component but I needed something else. I don’t know what made me think of the idea but I thought it would be fun to have a Zonal Quiz and Debate competition with all the schools in the Zone. But with getting the money in February and having other projects as well, there
wasn’t a lot of time to prepare.

The teachers were already aware that there would be a workshop but they didn’t know when and they didn’t know the topic of the workshop. Since the grant was a HIV awareness grant, the topic of the teacher workshop and the quiz and debate were all focused on HIV awareness, prevention,
stigma and Orphans and vulnerable children (OVC). I wanted to focus on these issues anyway seeing as there are a lot of orphans in my area and the stigma surrounding condom use, getting tested and being positive is really high and I wanted to address these issues with the teachers as well as with the community.

The guidance teacher and the m/patron of the AIDS Action club were invited to this workshop. There were a total of 10 teachers present. During the workshop we discussed HIV transmission, risk behaviors, the ABCs of safe sex (Abstinence, Be faithful, Condoms), stigma and why stigma exist and OVCs. The teachers did so well. They were involved in the workshop the whole time. I lead the sessions so I was afraid they would get bored but they didn’t. They seemed to be really taking to the conversation. We had some really good conversations about what to do when
its obvious that abstinence only education isn’t working. I told them we have the same problem in the States. I enjoyed the workshop myself. I love leading things like that and having discussions with the teachers and getting their opinions. It was also cool to have some of them chime in and explain things totheir collogues who didn’t know the information. You could tell they learned some new things and also they got to see my style of teaching since I haven’t
been able to teach at all the schools. They all said they want more workshops, wish I would’ve know that before the end of my service but maybe the new volunteer could help in that area.

A week later we had the zonal quiz and debate competition where all the schools sent pupils to compete against each other. In addition to the quiz and debate, we also had a clinic worker talking about prevention of mother to child transmission and a mobile clinic doing HIV
testing and counseling. There were 6 kids from each school (3 for quiz, 3 for debate) and one teacher. There are 5 schools in my zone. The kids were given a “study guide” to help them but they weren’t given the questions for the quiz. They got their debate topic and the school they were debating against the night before the debate so everyone had the same amount of time to prepare. All the quiz questions were related to HIV. The categories were: HIV transmission, the
ABCs of safe sex, Acronyms (since there are so many relating to HIV), Voluntary Counseling and Testing and Living positively. The quiz was set up as a jeopardy game and they got to pick their category and point value, they did not have to answer in the form of a question.

The debate was all focused on stigma surrounding HIV. The motions were based on real conversations that happen in the village. The three motions that were debated were: People with HIV should be removed from the community, Condom Demonstrations shouldn’t be allowed in schools and People with HIV shouldn’t be allowed to have children. There were two schools that
debated in English and the rest used local language.

The day was so amazing. I was so proud of the kids and was happy everything worked out. The day before I was bitten by a dog and knew after the event I needed to go to Lusaka so I was dealing with a lot of emotions, but everything worked out as it always does. The debate was great. The kids got really into it and you couldn’t even tell they were nervous. The presented their points and made great interjections. So proud of all of them. The District Education Board Secretary was there to watch and he was also impressed. It was evidence that just because
these kids live in the village it doesn’t mean they are dumb. It was also a motivator for them; people actually DO care about them and their education.

There were so many members from the community there which was great because they also got to learn some things as well. They enjoyed watching the kids debate and were picking their sides according to the arguments. At the end of the day there were over 250 people at the event and
113 people were tested for HIV. This was big because people are so afraid to be tested. Even one of my teachers told me she was afraid and wasn’t going to go check her status; she was the 113th person to be tested that day! There was a raffle for people who got tested. The prizes came from Americaland (Thanks mom and dad and Maryville College J-term trip!!!!) and some in country donations. Everyone had a good time and I think learned something.

The money from the grant paid for food, transport, and prizes for the quiz and debate winners. I lived off of the high of that program for a few days. I was proud of myself for pulling it off in a few weeks time and not being overwhelmed with everything. It was one day but it changed me to
see how involved the community was. It was even more surprising because the event was not in my village; it was at a school 8km away during rainy season. Two strikes but it worked out just the same. They were invested in their kids and their health that day. They wanted to know their status and keep themselves safe. It was great to see everyone coming together and hopefully they’ll use and remember what they learned.

A case of the Tuesdays

Most people hate Mondays, they have to go back to work and feel sluggish and something- in their minds- always goes wrong. But I seem to always have a case of the Tuesdays. My mom pointed this out to me as I recapped what happened to me two Tuesdays ago.

I was getting ready for a BIG event that I was putting on in a neighboring village. It was Tuesday and the event was Wednesday so I had a lot to do. I woke up did some yoga (typical Peace Corps volunteer right) and started to get ready for my day. I noticed my bike had a flat and I was
determined to fix it myself. It was the back tire which is always tricky and I couldn’t even unscrew the wheel. So as usual I asked one of my teachers to fix it but that meant I had to do all my running around (carrying chickens, buying maze, prepping the school which was 8km away) on foot. I start my errands and try to arrange transport for the chickens luckily they weren’t alive or I really would’ve had a problem.

First order of business, go pick up 10 chickens and the 3 gallons of beans, which I had already bought. I walked 5km (not bad) to Tazama where I bought the chickens, as I pass the fence I see a new dog in the yard of the house where I bought the chickens. The dog runs to the gate and I greet it- no biggie I greet all dogs. But this dog was evil and decided it would be a good idea to run behind me and bite me! So the dog bites me and just like it takes a baby a while to realize that its hurt after it falls, it took me a second to realize the pain in my leg was from this dog biting me. I look down and see blood and immediately start screaming at the dog and crying. I wasn’t
crying because it hurt, which it did, I was crying because I knew I was going to have to travel to Lusaka a good 8-10 hours away. Finally the owner comes and we go inside to do business over these chickens. My leg is still bleeding but I’m just worried about getting my chickens and leaving. The boys who were getting things together kept telling me to go to the clinic, 5k in the opposite direction. My leg HURTS now and I can’t imagine walking that far anymore. So I leave the boys to gather the chickens and beans as I start walking to the clinic, luckily a car passes and
drives me there instead.

It’s still pretty early so no one is at the clinic so I try getting a hold of Lusaka. I step outside and wait for medical to call me back and out of no where a puppy jumps in my lap. It was of course none other than Nikki- one of Hendrix’s puppies. She finds me every Tuesday because I have class at the Church where she lives that happens to be next to clinic. (Needless to say class was
cancelled that day). But since I’ve just been bitten by a dog, I’m out of it and not realizing that this is a nice dog, so I freak out. In the middle of my “freaking out” one of the clinic officers came out and got me. I FINALLY realize which dog it was a calmed down and the clinic officer starts to clean my leg. He couldn’t do much more than that, medical had called me back and told me that
I needed to get to Lusaka as fast as I could but since I had a rabies shot already I could wait a day and do my event (YAY!) but the only thing the clinic could do was help me clean my leg. While I’m at the clinic, my best friend in the village Julie calls to ask me a question. She happens to ask me where I was and once I told her what happened she told me she was coming to the clinic, 5
mins later she was there holding my and telling me not to worry. All while I’m getting cleaned up, talking to Lusaka and holding Julie’s hand, Nikki is waiting outside the door whining, making sure I was ok. That made all the Zambians laughs because they couldn’t believe that this dog remembered me and was actually concerned. After I got cleaned up, I went back to finding
transport for the chickens. Since I had missed my original transport I had to hitch with a bag of 10 chickens and 3 gallons of beans. Great. But it wasn’t so bad. I dropped those off at the school and headed back to my village. On the way to the school, several people stopped to ask me if I was ok, word had gotten around that I was bitten. It’s funny. People I didn’t even know well
were telling me sorry and trying to help me. My teachers saw the bandage on my leg and got really worried until I told them that I was sure the dog was vaccinated-which it was, and I had already had a rabies shot. I was never worried about rabies just and infection. Hard to keep a wound clean in the village especially since it was rainy season and the path to my house is just
one big mud puddle.

This was when my mom told me I had a case of the Tuesdays seeing as the Tuesday before I had fallen off my bike…trying to make sure Nikki didn’t follow me to the road. Typical.

If this would have happened in the beginning of my service I’m sure I would not have found humor in the situation. But since it’s at the end and I feel like I’ve been through everything. Just the night before while I was cooking dinner a bat flew in the kitchen, and I jokingly said it would be just my luck that Id get rabies and not being able to do my event. I am used as they say. The rest of the Tuesday was great through. A teacher bought me a Pepsi, I had a phone interview with the Girl Scouts to work at a camp this summer and I had a warm bucket bath.

My event was a GREAT success on Wednesday; I went to Lusaka Thursday and was put on antibiotics and got two post exposure shots. And I ended up getting a PC ride from Lusaka
all the way to my door! I’m fine now. The infection is going away and the wound is healing slowly but surely. Just another Tuesday in the Vil.