I guess I should be happy that Ive finally made it to the 90 day mark but its really bittersweet. I officially have three months left in Zambia and three months to wrap up two years of work. My time in the village is starting to feel like one long drawn out goodbye. I have so many things that I want to complete but I feel like I have no time to do it. Never thought I would feel this way, but two years is really not a long time at all.
Ive finally got the literacy group started in my village and people are excited for the opportunity to learn. The resource center that I have been trying to stocks since I first arrived FINALLY has some books and there are more on the way, thanks to my Alma mater Maryville College. I feel at home in my hut, maybe too much so as I like to hide away on the weekends. I feel grounded in the village, like I'm suppose to be there.
I wanted to extend. I went back and forth in my mind about staying in Zambia. The program in Kenya I wanted to extend with is no longer an option so I thought about doing something special education related in Zambia. It didn't work out. I'm not ready to go back to Americaland. I have to start speaking proper American English and I'm not sure if I can. I'm scared of all the people, the noises, the cars, the lack of communication on transport, the pace of America and choices. I'm so nervous about choices. I am excited to see my family and friends, to be able to trust transportation, to stand in a line and know for sure that I am next, to eat sushi and to be in Chattanooga again. But it'll be extremely hard to leave this place. This has been my life for 2 years and its become so normal and Ive adapted to this way of life.
BUT on the bright side of things. I do have plans for this term. Instead of trying to extend to do special education work, Ill be working at Musakanya Basic in Mpika Boma in my last three months of service. The school has a Special Education Unit which is specifically for Deaf students up to grade seven. I went to the school and talked with the Headmaster and a few of the teachers. They welcomed me and were very excited that I was interested in working with them but upset that Ill be leaving in April. One of the teachers at the school is Deaf herself and was impressed that I could actually sign. She told me I was a much better signer than the other teachers and I needed to come to the school so she could have someone to talk with. Yup that was the highlight of the day for sure. Since I live 105k from the school it will be a "come when you can" type of situation. I'm happy that they are willing to work with me. This is something Ive wanted to do since my first year but I never felt I had the time.
Since I am not teaching at my school this term, I have more time to do other things. I decided that I didn't want to start something I couldn't finish with this new group of Grade 9s. Ive been able to work start to finish with two grade 9 classes and its something that I loved about teaching here. I got to see the kids grow. I don't want to start in term one and not be able to follow them all the way through their grade 9 year. Ill be there for tutoring, and I want to go in a few days a week and start a reading program with them but I cant be their English teacher. Kinda sad but its better this way. Ill get to work more on teacher training in the schools which is something I enjoy and something that needs to happen. Ill also have enough time to work at the preschool and with the teacher on curriculum development. The teacher is good with the kids, they just aren't learning as much as they could. I guess since this is their start to education its only fair that they start their route memory training now but if I can teach the teacher a new way to set up her classroom and help with new methods then maybe the kids can learn a bit more before they go to Grade 1. Ive seen a few of the preschool kids from last year at Mpumba and they look so cute and eager to learn. Its refreshing!
I guess for the next three months Ill take as many pictures as I can, sit with as many people as I can and eat all the Nshima my body can handle and try not to look at my neighbors like its the last time. I can do this....I can. Its like my first 3 months all over again. Living in two places at once and not knowing exactly where I want/need to be and not knowing how to focus on the here and now. That should really be the goal for the next three...focus on the present and enjoy it for what it is.
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